September 5, 2010
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The long and short of things...
I could try and catch everyone up on the last six months or so, but honestly the thought of trying exhausts me. So I won't.
I have been in Northwest Arkansas now for six months - hard to believe that so much time has already passed...some days it feels like longer and some days it feels like I just moved.
I think for the most part I have settled in...work is finally starting to make sense and I am catching up to the rest of my team. Most days I really like my job. I get to travel (two weeks out of the month) and see lots of the country. I get to dictate my own schedule to a degree that most do not. I get to learn new things every day. Super cool. Plus I really like the people on my team. They make me laugh and we have a great time together. I didn't anticipate the time on the road being so lonely, but that is really the only drawback and nothing that I can't handle for the 18 months that I am committed to this particular job! (I hear Aundrea in my head saying 'You can do anything for a year Havah'
).I have yet to find a church that I want to settle in. I think it is a combination of a couple factors - first of all, I haven't attended church regularly for several years because of my work schedule and I am out of the habit. (If that makes any sense - probably will to some of you and not at all to others) Secondly I don't feel like I fit anywhere. I don't have a convenient 'label' if you will...other than the dreaded 'single' (which in my opinion is a synonym for pathetic and fresh-meat in most churches). It is weird to go to a church by yourself. I think for the first time I really get how incredibly intimidating church is for people who haven't been (ever/in a long time/in a new place). Church has always been such a social thing for me and I miss that sense of community, but dread the work that is inevitable to find and establish a place for myself anywhere. Lastly, I come a bit more skeptical and leery than I have ever been...that old phrase 'once bitten, twice shy' certainly applies.
All of those factors aside, I know that I need to find a place to plug in. I need the encouragement. I need people around me who (while not perfect) remind me what is true and good and right. I need people to hold me accountable. I need people to do life with. And that is why I keep getting up on Sunday morning and playing the Russian roulette of 'where to go to church'.
It must be said at this point - that I am not lacking in dear friends who have invited/taken me with them to their churches. And there are several that I have really liked. ((sigh)) I am grateful to these friends for their love and interest in helping me find a 'home'...I just don't know where that is supposed to be.
Haha - I just analyzed my whole church situation without meaning to...and you all got to come along for the ride. Thanks for taking that side road with me...
Back to other news. I am happy to report that while I miss my family terribly I am not really homesick. I have gotten to see them WAY more than I thought I would (at least once a month since I left!) and am so grateful for that.
My friends that I am living with are amazing. I couldn't ask for a better place to be. Such a HUGE blessing. The weekend that I moved in they were actually out of town, but the kids had made 'welcome home' signs and hung them all over my room, and Amber had left little gifts and a beautiful vase of flowers for me. My mom walked in and saw all of that and burst into tears...I was a little confused until she could articulate how grateful to God she was for providing such an amazing family/place for me to live. So good.
Gotta get off of here. Talk to you all soon (hopefully)!
Comments (7)
where is your job? i don't know what you're doing.
i can totally see where it would be overwhelming to find a new church! i hope you're able to find a congregation that you love. church is VERY much a social thing for me. it makes all the difference if you have friends that you look forward to seeing.
it's good to hear from ya!
Another perk of living in NWA is that you will see us every time we come home!! Hooray!!
I'm so happy for you! You have a beautiful place and wonderful people in your life, that is awesome!
As for the church thing, it makes perfect sense. I think when it does "click", you will be amazed at how quickly it happens. Who knows what God is setting up for you? Perhaps he's moving other people around just to meet with you at the right moment.
I hope we can get together soon and visit. My work schedule is kind of crazy right now, too.
Love and hugs!
Well, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling MOSTLY settled... I'm sure the rest will come with time, and you will eventually find a church that you feel comfortable with!
What's the new job??
Great to hear from you!!
Great update and good luck with finding your church! God sees you looking and he will help you. I had a really hard time with church when I was single, I totally get the pathetic and fresh meat (I love how you put it lol!) Even newly married it was hard, but once I felt the responsibility of my children's souls I found my or our spot. How enriching the gospel is! The wonderful thing is that it's on your mind and important to you.
That's neat you get to travel! Too bad it gets lonely. Do you ever travel with your team?
You have such a sweet mom. I bet she is missing you like crazy. I am glad you have gotten to see your family.
((hugs))Michele
Sooo good to hear from you. Look forward to your next update.
The church thing makes perfect sense to me. Hang in there. God will show you.
Glad you're loving it in NWA.
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