**Edit required - sorry folks...lest you think/thought that I wrote this, I did not - cannot take credit for it - just sharing 
**
For my friend.....[you are the bravest one I know]
You were full and fully capable
You were self sufficient and needless
Your house was fully decorated in that sense
You were taken with me to a point
A case of careful what you wish for
But what you knew was enough to begin
And so you called and courted fiercely
So you reached out, entirely fearless
And yet you knew of reservation and how it serves
And i salute you for your courage
And i applaud your perseverance
And i embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces
So you were in but not entirely
You were up for this but not totally
You knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt
And so you fell and you're intact
So you dove in and you're still breathing
So you jumped and you're still flying
And i support you in your trusting
And i commend you for your wisdom
And i'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces
You found creative ways to distance
You hid away from much through humor
Your choice of armor was your intellect
And so you felt and you're still here
And so you died and you're still standing
And so you softened and you're still safely in command
Self protection was in times of true danger
Your best defense to mistrust and be wary
Surrendering a feat of unequalled measure
And i'm thrilled to let you in
Overjoyed to be let in in kind
10 Years Ago...
1) I was 20 years old.
2) In full blown rebellion and making really bad choices. [not proud of it btw - just where I was at - not any longer 
]
3) My youngest brother Jesse was in utero [born Sept 6th]
4) Working as a volunteer coordinator / assistant instructor for
Therapuetic Horsemanship [a program designed to offer horseback riding
lessons to physically and mentally disabled as therapy - hence the name]
5) Was changing my major in college for the [what seemed like] 100th time.
5 Years Ago...
1) I had just moved back to St Louis after spending several years in NW Arkansas working with Youth With A Mission.
2) Had just become an aunt for the first time!
3) Seeing a counselor at least once a week
4) Getting things together to go [back] to school - even though I still had no idea what I wanted to be 'when I grew up'.
5) Wow - that really was not a great summer....
Yesterday...
1) I did not get out of my jammies all day long.
2) My sweet sister Hannah and baby Ian came over to play/spend the evening.
3) I watched 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' and 'Harry Potter
and the Prisoner of Azkaban' with my two youngest brothers [Jordan and
Jesse].
4) Caught up on the sleep that I missed out on from the hellacious work week last week.
5) Prayed for a lot of my friends [there is a lot going on right now, isn't there girls?
5 Snacks I Like...
1) Swedish Fish
2) My moms homemade salsa with tortilla chips.
3) Oatmeal raisin cookies
4) Almonds
5) Twizzlers
5 Songs I Know All The Words To...[I guess since there are so many,
that I will name the 5 that I have listened to the most recently on the
iPod that I know the words to...]
1) Going Under - Evanescence
2) Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
3) Breathless - Angie Paris
4) All The Things She Said - T.A.T.U.
5) Thank U - Alanis Morrisette
If I Had A Million Dollars....
1) Pay off my debt, and a couple of my siblings
2) Travel A LOT.
3) Invest - so that someday I could finance a dream of mine...
4) Build my mom the cabin in the woods that she has always dreamed of.
5) Buy my dad the Honda Goldwing that he has always dreamed of.
5 Things I Would Never Wear...
1) Leggings [or any kind of stretch pants]
2) Leather chaps - or anything leather really...except maybe a coat...hmmmmm
3) Moccasins
4) Any kind of facial jewelry
5) A mini-skirt
Favorite TV Shows...
1) Starting Over
2) Extreme Home Makeover
3) Friends
4) Law and Order: SVU
5) Stargate: SG-1
5 people I tag...
Sorry everyone - I don't prefer to 'tag' anyone - just use it if you
haven't someday when there is nothing else to post!
Today was the big blood drive at work. The Red
Cross sent out a 'Bloodmobile' and set up in our parking lot. I
got there early so as to be first in line [not really - it just worked
out that way], and ended up in the bus at the same time as a couple of
other associates from my store. One of them was sadly unable to
give blood due to a low iron count, but as a result she was able to
document the whole thing for your xanga enjoyment.
I give up - I admit it, I am a total xanga nerd.
Seriously, if you have never given blood with fun people, you ought to
try it - I had a blast today, and I am quite sure that we were the
funnest group that blood mobile had seen in a LONG time. 
**For those of you who might be a bit squeamish - there are no actual
needle shots - but there are some with the finished product - consider
yourself warned**
The marking of the arm...I chose to get the stick in the
left arm in the way off chance that there was any 'nerve damage' like
they warn about in the required reading before you donate...seeing as I
am right handed and all.
The sterilization of the arm...
Incidentally - I don't think they have ever had someone come in and do
a photo shoot play by play of blood donation before - at first they
were looking at me a bit strange, but by the end I could tell they were
lovin' it...
Funny story to insert here - after the needle went in
and the blood was flowing well, I was told to 'squeeze your hand into a
fist for 85 seconds'... and I am thinking to myself 'why 85
seconds? why not 90? where is a clock so I can time
myself? okay - 85 seconds...that is a minute and 25 seconds
right? Crap - do I count this off in my head?' and so on and so
forth with the neurotic overthinking/analyzing.
After a while the phlebotomist comes back and notices that the blood is
not flowing anymore. She checked for kinks in the line -
nothing. Tightened the blood pressure cuff - nothing. She
then looks down and notices my limp hand. [insert record scratch
here] She said 'Did you quit squeezing your hand??'
Slightly confused I replied - 'Well, yes I did after 85 seconds.......'
She looked at me and busted out laughing and said 'honey - I said squeeze once every FIVE seconds'.
Well Crap. A girl tries to follow the rules and look what she gets...
She laughed and laughed...said she has never had anyone 'hear' that before.
That ought to make them laugh for a while. 
The finished product [after a few more minutes of perfect squeezing of the fist]
Me with my phlebotomist [just a fun word to say, isn't
it?] She totally pulled out the pink medical tape to tape up my
arm with when we were finished - you know - so my bandage would match
my outfit. How cool is she? She grinned big when I told her
she was the coolest phlebotomist I had ever met, and asked to get my
picture with her. If you check out her hands, she is totally
showing off her handiwork... 
Last but not least, I took this last picture myself
while having a little juice and pretzel snack after finishing up.
A - you will appreciate this...when asked 'how are you feeling?' I
didn't think - just launched into 'I feel good, I feel great, I
feel wonderful - I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful'
[name that movie for extra points]
Just as a bonus I found out a couple of interesting
things while at the snack station - first of all, my blood type AB+ is
fairly rare - according to the Red Cross, only 3% of the population
shares my blood type. Not to worry however - should I ever need a
transfusion, because of the fact that I have AB+ blood, I am a
universal recipient - I can literally get any blood type....
Cool huh?
Okay - maybe not that cool, but I thought it was interesting.
Good times.
It has been a long few days, but I am nearing the end...
Have been a bit emotional the last few days due to being
exhausted. I hate it when I get that way - and then have to go to
work and paste on the 'I'm good, I'm great, I'm wonderful' motivator
face.
Yesterday was the turn-around point however - slept really well, and
woke rested. The icing on the top however was the way the night ended
[this morning really]...I had been dreading some obstacles that I knew
I would be coming up against at work when I went in last evening...but
somehow, though it was crazy to start, the night ended so
well...I cannot even tell you how good it felt for things to come
together like they did, and to have my boss pleased with everything.
ahhhhhh.
I'll take mornings like this anytime...[they are few and far between].
All I can say is Thank you Lord for the respite...
"The caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for
some time in silence: At last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of his
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a
conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I - I hardly know,
Sir, just at present - at least I know who I was when I got up this
morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then."
"What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar, sternly. "Explain yourself!".
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir," said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."
"I don't see," said the Caterpillar.
" I'm afraid I can't put it any more
clearly," Alice replied, very politely, "for I can't understand
it myself, to begin with, and being so many different sizes in a day is
very confusing."
"It isn't," said the Caterpillar."
"Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," said Alice. "All I know is, it would feel very queer to me."
"You!" said the Caterpillar contemptuously. "Who are you?"
thanks for your patience and love all...ugh - no fun to have the computer on the fritz. you just never realize how dependent you are on an object until it is gone. i miss my xanga friends!
all is fairly well here other than that - so hot - i came out of work today at five pm...and the temperature gauge on my car was reading 104 degrees. ugh. wicked hot. how in the world do people exist without airconditioning? it makes me feel like a total wimp...ah well.
not really a whole lot else to tell - there won't be much from me over the next week or so - i am heading into day two of a eight day, 92 hour work week.
not so fun, but the benefit is quite a few days off in a row - looks like i am headed to arkansas unless something drastic happens...and that makes it all worth it.
thanks for all of the love girls - and for not giving up on me in my situation imposed xanga hiatus...
Hey everyone - just a quick note to let you all know that I am not ignoring you - we have temporarily had some computer problems at the house, and so no internet service...I am currently at the library checking e-mail and have to get off pretty quick - just wanted you to have the heads up.
Love you guys.
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