A life lesson learned in
HOW TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT -
otherwise titled....
ME AND MY BIG MOUTH
Or maybe -
WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SAY THINGS/MAKE DECISIONS WHEN YOU ARE ILL.
Because brevity is not something that I am any good at, AT ALL - you all are going to get the full blown version of the story that I have been promising, in detail [not that you may care about the details, but this takes some explaining...]. Stay with me. I promise it will be worth it.
The story begins on Monday, with me [on my first day in charge of the store while my boss is gone] waking up at 5:30am throwing up and generally feeling all manner of unwell. Not a great way to wake up/begin your term of responsibility. I made myself get out of bed and dragged myself in to work - actually making it on time - and upon arrival worked my way through the store on the morning tour - stopping FOUR times to run to the bathroom. I was NOT well, folks - and looked like death. Not good.
Not good also, because after touring the store and making notes for everyone to work on throughout the day, I was headed to the annual Wal-Mart/Sams Club regional [all day] 'Childrens Miracle Network' kick-off meeting with four of the associates from our store.
I was feeling yucky - feeling rushed - had been told by a LOT of people on my way through the store just how awful I looked [thanks folks - I appreciate it - like I don't already know that I look like hell - I most certainly need that re-inforcement], and was now headed to a heart string pulling, story telling, meant-to-induce-excitement-about-raising-money-for-all-of-the-sick-kids-at-the-childrens-hospital kickoff meeting.
Did I mention that I was sick and in the bathroom more often than not? Just checking.
Not knowing how the day [or my stomach] was going to turn out, as we are walking in I let my group know that we really needed to sit at a table in the back with quick access to an exit as I headed to the bathroom YET AGAIN. [For the love of all that is holy - where is the immodium when you need it?]
Being the sweet, sweet girls that they are, they made a spot for us at the very back of the crowded room, and already had crackers and diet sprite poured for me upon my return. 
[Have I mentioned lately how much I love the people that I work with? I do - funny how I am the one that is supposed to be looking out for them, and so often they find ways to care for me. I think that is cool and am humbled by their love/care/concern. Anyway.]
The meeting kicked off and I made it through the morning - sat there and bawled through the updates of previous years 'miracle kids' and through the stories of this years 'children ambassadors' [who are the kids chosen to represent CMN for the year - they are in recovery/out of treatment for various things, and have been treated at the childrens hospital - pretty much living, breathing, walking about miracles]. Right. This is the kind of meeting that you definitely wear waterproof mascara to. If you don't, you regret it. You can always tell the first timers by the mascara streaks. 
[can you believe all of this is preface? Yikes.]
After the break for lunch, they started talking about all of the things that different stores did throughout the past year to raise money for CMN. You know - idea generating for the coming year. Right. The store with the highest total for the year was asked about the activities that they did/ideas that they had had for raising the funds that they did, and had lots of great ideas. But the best one? Turns out that they had actually had one of their managers raise a certain amount of money - with the stipulation that if they raised a certain amount of money in a certain period of time, that they could shave said managers head. Everyone laughed and was talking about how great an idea that was, and here is the ensuing conversation at our table.
Person #1 - 'We should get Renee [my boss] to do that! We could raise a ton of money [for CMN] if she would do that!'
Me - 'Ummmm - yeah, you aren't going to get her to do that - no way [she has some of the most gorgeous naturally red hair that I have EVER seen and it is long - not Crystal Gayle long, but way past her shoulders]. Sorry to burst your bubble and all - but that is not going to happen'
Person #2 - 'But wouldn't that be GREAT!?!'
Me - 'Yes, it would - but I am telling you that it will not happen'
Person #1 - ' But what if????...'
Don't miss it - this would be the part where I should have kept my BIG.MOUTH.SHUT.
Me 'Well - Renee totally wouldn't do it - but I'll tell you what - I would let you shave mine if you could raise $15,000 by the end of July...' [feeling all smug to myself for several reasons - firstly because I DO NOT think that they would take me up on it - secondly because last year for the entire year we only raised $5,000, and I am thinking that there is no way they will tackle three times that $$ amount in half of the time - thirdly because I DID NOT THINK THAT THEY WOULD TAKE ME UP ON IT].
Welp. They did. They have.
The next morning in our morning store meeting it was announced that Havah would be shaving her head if we reached that magic $ amount by July 31st. I am scheduled to have my head shaved on August 1st. It is going to happen. I have not seen the store this excited about anything in a really long time.
sigh.
The only explanation that I can come up with for this temporary loss of my mind would be that I WAS SICK AND NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND. Holy cow. What have I done? I LIKE my hair!
I am now consoling myself with several thoughts - 'Well - at least it is for a super good cause!'
and 'You have always wondered what you would look like bald anyway - now you get to find out!'
and then there is...'Hey, maybe I will be totally hot like Demi Moore in 'GI Jane', or Sinead O'Connor in all her bald glory - or yeah - Sigourney Weaver in 'Aliens'...[I guess I better start getting buff to be in the same genre as those three ].
I am also thinking 'Hey - maybe this won't be so bad - after all, I apparently can't get a freaking date with my hair - maybe the guys will think this is a new, hot change...' 
lastly - [my personal favorite]. 'Well - perhaps this will be a good thing since I will be starting school a couple of weeks later - I won't have to tell any of my professors why I am bald - I can just let them assume that I have some sort of horrid disease, and maybe get some sympathy thrown at me that first semester' 
So there you go.
The moral of the story...
If you wake up throwing up, it is probably in your future best interest to go back to bed no matter what responsibility you have hanging over your head for the day. You never know what you might commit to in your sickness induced state of mind.
[did I mention that they already raised $54 dollars? $14,946 dollars until my head is shaved.]
* Love these girls - Laura, myself and KK - doesn't this picture look like the front of a greeting card?
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